The Visitor

Last week I was a church visitor. It has been a long time that has happened since I have been at Life Church since 1996, but I had heard that there was this black church, Mt. Zion Baptist, where the music is fantastic, and more than fantastic, that it could move you to tears within a few minutes of listening. Since I had only been to one other church where that crying thing actually happened to me (Brooklyn Tabernacle), I decided to visit last Sunday at 2019 Fisher, just off of Park Street in Madison.

For the first time in many years, I felt that feeling of not knowing a soul in a place where everyone knows each other, as well as being one of only four white people (yep, I counted)  in the building. It didn’t feel good, but it didn’t feel bad either, just different. Everyone was dressed up, you know that whole respect for God thing that black churches do, and most of the men my age wore suits and ties, which since I kind of half expected it due to my visits to the Brooklyn Tabernacle, I was dressed in nicer than normal pants (slacks)  and an ironed striped dress shirt.  The pianist, a gentlemen named Lee, said hello and shook my hand, as did Angela, and some other lady whose name escapes me. They consciously and verbally let me know that they were glad I was there, and thanked me for visiting. That helped. A lot.

What really helped though is to know what it felt like to be a new person in a church where you know NOBODY. Since everything is new, you examine everything that there is to examine, the foyer, the people, music, the restroom décor, the bulletin, announcement, the demeanor of the people, and how they approach or don’t approach you.  You are analyzing everything, not necessarily with a critical eye, but yes, somewhat. I even analyzed myself from the standpoint of the congregants, trying to think their thoughts about me, like why is this middle aged white dude here, what is his story, where is his family, is he a Christian already, why doesn’t he have a tie, would he be comfortable if I approached him, what should I say, does he know he stands out, does he care, on and on.

As I had mentioned last month, I have a renewed interest in inviting people to church that I meet through Helps or anywhere for that matter. Therefore this visit made me ‘feel’ the feeling of being a stranger in a church, and help understand the people that are new to our own church. It made me realize that while sometimes I may feel shy, sometimes outgoing, sometimes tired, sometimes sad, but whatever I feel I should get over it and reach out. It’s important.  We don’t know what they are dealing with, sickness, recent loss of loved ones, marital issues, depression, deep depression, financial stress, foreclosure, whatever, a kind word of welcome and acceptance can make more difference than you may know.

The good news here is I think we do okay at this at Life Church. I meet regularly with one of the folks who were introduced to our Church through Helps, and he was explaining the ‘alone’ feeling that I was trying to describe above, and when the post-worship greeting time came, a number of people approached him, addressed him by name, and greeted him. This meant the world to him. Seriously, he has mentioned it to me three times on different occasions so THANK YOU to all of those who reached out!  I was shocked because I had always looked at the greeting time as an obligatory, forced thing, and never really participated much. Shame on ME! Ugh. I tend to think everyone sees things the same way I do, but guess what, they don’t and I’m thankful they don’t. 

Anyway, if I seem friendlier next Sunday then you’ll know why.

 

Happy Thanksgiving,

/Bill