Kenneth at the Grocery Store

I see Ken down the household aisle, and I have no idea what he has in his hand, never did know, since like me he is just here killing time, probably didn't need anything, other than to get out of the house. My cart is still empty but I have every intention of getting toilet paper, which is really the only thing I need, but I get two other things that I absolutely don't need since I don't like to check out with only toilet paper. Ken says hello, and a few other pleasantries, but his voice has no force, as if he's talking inside himself, so I tell him he looks good but doesn't sound good. I just said one to balance the other, but really only one was true. He mentions the accident, which I kind of knew about, since he had told me about it last year, right here at this grocery store, possibly right in the same aisle. Instead of saying that I have no idea what you are talking about, I say can you tell me about the accident again, and how it happened? As he tells the retells the story he told last year, I realize as I see the tears forming in his eyes that this is no longer the cold dull but competent corporate rock I knew years ago, but a broken man, in pain, feeble now, with depression at his door every day, loss of faculties, but aware of the loss, and willing to express it.  His world has fallen to nothing, he has money, but nothing more, and just says it like it is, saying "most days I just sit and do nothing."

I now realize he is exactly my age, and how everything worthy seems to be gone for him, and with me, yes, even at my age the whole world still seems to be in front of me. I always think this way, why haven't things been taken from me, why do I get to have so much when people that really are better people than me, not not false humility, I mean they really ARE better in every way, yet have it so hard. I feel that maybe its because God understands that I am just so weak that I couldn't take it, so why push it.

All this years I could have been his friend but was content with the 'how are ya, fine how are you' status and never went to the places I could have. Now I will, and told him as much. I really will, yes, its late, but it's not over. I have to consciously make sure that at the tail end here that I burn out and not rust out.